The way people see me!


The story of Sherry

In 2008 when I was leaving one job and going to another I’ll send started having problems with tunnel vision and by the time I got to my other job I was having pain and numbness in the whole right side of my body and my boss thought I was having a stroke sent me the emergency room was in a stroke my spinal fluid pressure was so high that I could almost not see by the time I got there and it just so happened that the leading neurologist at the Nevada neuroscience institute was uncalled that day and figured out what was wrong with me put me on some medication didn’t help my head was hurting so bad I was sick to my stomach I couldn’t get up I spent more time in bed than anywhere and so then she said well I think you need to get a shunt put in and I got a lower lumbar shunt though because she said she didn’t think the other shirts were that much better and they were more of a hassle her opinion I don’t know but I know I felt better afterwards but I still have a headache almost 24/7 and I was living with my daughter and her two kids come and do it when you have a headache 24/7 you don’t want to live with toddlers so I move back home. Paying to me moving back to my hometown I’m lost both my parents I lost my mom to all times and on my dad’s side of family there’s dementia My mom’s mom we lost all timers So I’m thinking I’m pretty much screwed sometimes I feel like I have turned into my mom and I get up to go on the other room to do something and don’t remember what I went out there for when I get there and the next all day every day now just once in awhile I like some people do sometimes I feel like the later in the day it gets too stupid or I am I had a heart attack September 26th 2020 and I died and the ER doctor brought me back to life and I decided maybe I should follow that diet my doctor been trying to get me to go on since then I’ve lost 110 115 lbs but actually I lost about 280 because my boyfriend who had been going out with her almost 9 years he only likes big women and he’s said this side of me makes him sick and you know and nothing to do with me and he left me for someone that weighs probably 400 lb. My kids all have their own lives don’t want nothing to do with me and their father passed away when they were very little so I don’t have him to lean on either I do have seven siblings but they look at me like I’m stupid or they talk to me like I’m stupid I just don’t understand why people think they have the right to judge you when they don’t really know what you’re going to because I bet out of all seven of my siblings not one of them is read anything on my disease and go to the store and I get dirty looks from people when when I park in the handicap spot I asked somebody to put something in my cart for me because it’s more than what I’m supposed to be lifting and they look at me like girl please you ain’t that old well I’m almost 60 and sometimes I feel like I’m 120 and I’m just to get it over with I am so afraid that I am going to turn into my mother and I’m going to be sitting in a nursing home somewhere and I’m not going to know who my kids are when they come to see me if they come to see me,or know my grandbabies! That’s not living that’s just existing for the sake of the people that are still here it’s not fair to us nobody’s fairness I get told why don’t you just go get a job if it was only that easy who wants to hire somebody who they know up front isn’t going to show up for work half the time and have to time when they do come to work they’re going to have to leave because they’re dizzy and throwing up and hopefully not on the customers people will get me like I’m stupid and treat me like I got the plague I just want to be looked at normal again